• Sam Swann

Domestic Abuse - You Are Not Alone

In these weird and unprecedented times, domestic abuse has sadly increased. The charity Refuge have reported a 700% increase in calls to their helpline since the lockdown happened.

I wanted to give someone out there some solis .....................


Domestic abuse comes in many forms. It can be physical, mental, emotional and psychological. Some examples are:

- Physical or sexual violence and abuse.

- Shouting, bullying and intimidation tactics.

- Isolation tactics, such as stopping us talking to friends or family or stopping us pursuing our career.

- Puts us down all the time. Telling us we are useless, stupid, fat and ugly. Making us feel not worthy of anything.

- Persuades us to do things we don't want to do, even subtle things such as railroading us into going out when we don't want to or persuades us to move back in together after we have split up.

- Treats us like a slave, even in our own home. Tells us women are only good for sex, cooking and housework.

Domestic abuse is all about power and control. One person has more power and control over the other person in a relationship, so the relationship is not equal and respectful. We may feel we are walking on egg shells all the time, not knowing how our partner may react to different situations, we may feel uneasy or scared of what they might do. The person that left the house this morning is not the same person who comes home, and this makes us feel nervous or anxious. There is no excuse for domestic abuse. Drink, drugs, mental health; these are all catalysts for abuse but not the reason for it. They can make the abuse worse and can be used as an excuse for someones abusive behaviour, but they are not the cause.

Does any of this sound familiar? Don't worry - help, support and advice is out there....... don't do it alone!

If you want to find out more about abusive tactics, abuse in relationships or what our options are; there are helplines and charities for us to contact or call - so we do have a choice.

Refuge Helpline : 0808 2000 247

DAVSS Helpline (based in Kent) : 01892 570538

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